DO YOU HAVE A HUMAN CONSULTANT I COULD TRY?

euro communication member Matthew Perret, who is also a comedian, recently received this plea from a desperate meeting organiser. He posts it here (with respect for anonymity) to encourage reflection on the specialised expertise of the (human) consultant interpreter- such as those you will find by contacting euro communication

I realised that my international meeting would work better with interpreters, so I started doing some research.

I checked out what was on offer, compared the online reviews, and placed my order with an agency. They had this fun interactive questionnaire, and said their algorithms would send me exactly what I needed.

The interpreters looked great on paper, but when they arrived I found the reality rather disappointing. They grumbled about the aches and pains they’d suffered in transit, being packed tightly inside the box. Once they’d freshened up, they were astonished to discover what I’d hired them for- they said they were just sent here and there with no warning. One poor chap, who clearly wasn’t the right fit for the conference, tried to run away rather than be squeezed back into the packaging for an immediate return. He offered to work into three languages at the same time, because “languages were his passion”.

Another was a specialist in astrology rather than astronomy, but insisted she was a quick learner. The “French-Polish Translation Solution” turned out to be a tin of French polish labelled “Smooth and effective”. 

Apparently, I was now meeting globally, while speaking my own language, and being streamed for access 24/7. The only problem was I couldn’t understand what my stressed interpreters were saying. One of them had to leave in the middle of a sentence because they were being paid by the minute- unfortunately, it was a German sentence, so I never got the verb.

DO YOU HAVE A HUMAN CONSULTANT

I COULD TRY?